Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
