erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
