my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
