The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
