Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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