Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
