i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
