We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
