I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
