I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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