Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
