If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
