You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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