I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize