we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
