I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
