there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
