I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Randomize
