On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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