drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
