i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
