Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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