Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
