It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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