Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
this will be a night to untag.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
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