i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
