What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
