I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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