so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
