Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
