Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
