I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
