Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You pole danced in your parka.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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