Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
