Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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