So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
