You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize