I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
His hands were made for my vagina.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
