Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
