it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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