Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize