Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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