Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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