Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
