Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
