Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize