do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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