im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wear drunk well.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
