Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
