Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
