There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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