As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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