i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize