We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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