i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
When are your genitals available?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
