Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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