I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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