Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
