i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
