she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
