You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
